Friday, January 08, 2016

2016 Yeay!

Wait whaa? It's 2016 already.....
2015 has been kind, a lot of strategizing to get where were are at today. I am not that open to pour my heart out to let everyone read my life but it has been challenging but progressing. It takes hard practice to change the way we think and it takes nothing to be swayed to adapt to a condition we do not want. Where we want to be is about to become a reality (I tell you it takes guts and a lot of courage to be say this).
It has been a good 1st week of 2016. Alhamdulillah.
BTW, we are dealing with a new kind of pest at home. A blood sucking one. And I seriously don't like it. It makes me nervous. They are bed bugs! I have been living in our little home for the past 15 years, not once been infested with bed bugs. Going into 2016 we were bitten by them. Maybe its a good sign. I don't know.....there must be something good out of all this misery. So we got ourselves a potent remedy called diatomaceous earth. I've sprinkled this white dusty powder everywhere and will strip all bed covers, pillow covers and sofa covers tonight to be cleaned and dried with high temperature. I see myself vigorously vacuuming my crib tonight...I can't wait!
My first born has just started Standard 2 which is kind of nice. My little girl is a big girl. I want to try those bento lunch boxes. I do want her to eat better food than just sausages at school. The review I get is that it tastes like paper but school kids loves them. Ish! She still misses her friend Ruth. She mentioned her again before the start of school and asked us to invite her for her birthday party last year. We didn't have her contact number so we went to the school and asked if we can have Ruth parents' contact. They couldn't release them due to privacy. If her senses is strong enough I know one day she will meet Ruth again.
My second born still doesn't like school. Lucky for her we are only registering here in March after we have the in laws house moving sorted. For now she is safe and I am saved from the morning drama. I've got to read more about dealing with drama with toddlers going to kindy. The 1st born was easy which makes it hard for us. No reference. Oh well, we'll deal with it when the time comes.

What else? Owh for the first time ever I watched a Hindustan movie at a movie theatre. It was Dilwale. It was nice. I haven't even watched Star Wars yet. I really like Shah Rukh Khan's lean masculine body. Hihi I mean who doesn't. It was funny because typical Hindustan movie you see dancing and singing. Rain would fall at a perfect timing while the hero wearing a white shirt. You see. It only happens in a Hindustan movie. Haha I enjoyed it.

Looking forward to see what 2016 brings us.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

All the best dear friend

The school 2nd terms has just started ...

Being 6 months in school, my standard one daughter has just started to get close to Ruth (not her real name). I hear her name every day for the past 2 months how my 1st born played with Ruth, not being friends with Ruth (and make up), Ruth buys things from school shop for her (when I asked to decline, my daughter says Ruth said it's ok every time), giving my daughter gifts and how Ruth teaches her Mandarin in the Mandarin class. I was happy she was friends with Ruth. One day she came back saying Ruth didn't come to school and was on a long holiday. I said to my daughter that it's ok and she'll come back (consoling myself really).

A few days before school holidays, my daughter told me that sometimes Ruth gets bullied by 'naughty boys'. I almost raised my voice asking who and why. I was very concern. Mr Hubby came close to us to see what happened. I was almost angry. I'm sure her parents would be if they know. I almost wanted to go and see the teacher. I almost pleaded to my daughter to ask her to defend Ruth if it happens again. I ask my daughter to stand up for her friend and be brave or just go and tell a teacher if it happens again. My daughter said Ruth will run away when the boys kacau her. I feel sad.

After school reopens my daughter told me Ruth is no longer in the school. I feel sad at the same time happy for her. I wish her well and all the good things in life.

It was a pleasure having her as my daughter's friend.

I fell like I lost a friend too...

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Mindful of feelings

We're currently dealing with a child who will be 7 years of age in September who is mature and sensitive. Literally she is 6.5 years old.

2 nights ago I had a breakdown. I was tired physically and a bit, mentally. I wouldn't be if I hadn't had to deal with my first born's sudden explosion (because I did not let her press the lift button). When I say sudden explosion, its a bit of an exaggeration. I believe our way of parenting is gentle parenting where our actions are executed with thought and care, hopefully. Well most of the time. So every cebik, merajuk, anger and cry are dealt with caution and care.

Just yesterday, my husband told me Nia said to him a few weeks ago that she thinks Mama loves Adik more and always gives in to Adik. She said, "I don't know why I feel this Pa. It's not a nice feeling. I don't like it. It's not me."

Both of us are quite surprised by this reaction. She can differentiate what her heart is feeling vs her mind thinks how she should react. Both of us thought the same, we wouldn't have been able to think this at 6 plus of age. Not that we remember. Being sensible was much later in life. Well quite recent I would say. So for her to distinct that her mind was sensible but her heart was in turmoil is amazing. And more importantly being able to communicate that clearly to us.

Mr Husband being him, explained to her what she thought was right and she has to learn to take control of her feelings. I mean, wow. And she did.

At the same time, her feelings was real. I may not see it the same way through my eyes but I was reminded to look thought my first born's eyes instead. So I will and need to be reminded all the time because I forget sometimes.

This morning she had another cebik session with me. The reason was I did not tighten her school shoes tight enough for her. See what I have to deal with? I was angry because she was angry. She showed her feelings, I showed my feelings as well. After we both calmed down, I told her that I loved her and I do not like being angry with her. It is just her feelings and learn to look outside. Look around how people are just moving on. Being calm and relaxed in the morning is very important and everything is not just about her. We end up saying sorry to each other, hi-fived and smiled. We moved on. And we shared foundation and put on make up in the car on the way to her school. Seriously, who was I kidding? I was actually telling all that to myself, hah.

I learn a lot from my children. They are just little angles and for that I am thankful.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Calling Mama

2 days ago my SIL's maid told me Nia cried in the evening after school while I was at work. When she asked if her cousin's did anything to her or she wanted to use the phone, Nia said no. Nia told the maid she wanted me.

I had to speak to her in the morning before school as she had already slept when I picked her up that night and she slept through the night.

When I asked her why she cried, she said the same thing. I wanted you. Awww...

Coming back from work yesterday, only then I realised there was a miss call and a voice mail from Nia. Her first call to me from MIL's house. My BIL gave her my phone number in case she wanted to call me. That is one thing I forgot and should have done now that she's in school. My phone number. Hearing Emmil's and her voice trying to figure out how to call me makes me feel sayu. She called and my personal phone is usually on silent when I am at the office. Their voices was recorded in the voice mail. She tried a few times until I called my MIL on her handphone, I heard my MIL told her that I was on the other line and heard my voice on speaker a bit. Hearing that again feels rather weird.

Awww....sayunya hati ini....

I am going to keep that recording.

Far away land

These were mostly my view when I was in Australia for work. These were taken in January 2015. It was autumn. I loved it. Summer was just over. I was there in November 2014 during the peak of summer. Everything was miserably brown and dry.... just imagine the picture above brown and blue, nothing else. Wait I lied, with patches of white cloud.

At most it was 2 weeks at a time. I wouldn't want to stay there longer than this if I had to. Firstly, I was missing my 2 girls and husband. I am a mom first. If I had all of them with me I wouldn't mind.

Secondly, well...thinking about it, that's the only reason. It is in fact a nice place. Different from what we are used to here in Malaysia. From Brisbane airport to Kogan, we could see mostly wide farms and flat land plantation with a little house in the middle. It was quite nice actually. Makes want to own one too.

Monday, March 09, 2015

Hujung jari di pelipis

Sebenarnya bukan tidak reti tetapi terasa janggal kerana dari segi penulisan memang sangat jarang digunakan. Dari segi lisan memang selalu mengguna bahasa kebangsaan tetapi dengan orang tertentu sahaja. Itupun bila bertutur dengan gurau senda dan bersahaja. Memandangkan pengarah syarikat juga adalah seorang yang berbangsa Inggeris, maka secara keseluruhannya bahasa yang digunakan di pejabat juga adalah bahasa Inggeris.

Pentingkah berbahasa Inggeris? Bagi saya dalam bidang yang diceburi ini sangat penting. Melainkan berkomunikasi dengan pegawai sektor kerajaan, rata-ratanya penyampaian selalunya dalam bahasa Inggeris. Dari segi penulisan mahupun pertuturan.

Bila saya bertutur dengan anak-anak, boleh dikatakan Bahasa Inggeris menjadi keutamaan. Mereka boleh berbahasa Malaysia (atau sedikit Bahasa Indonesia kerana bertutur dengan Bibik) tetapi lebih pandai mengorak ayat dan meluahkan perasaan dengan penuh ekspresi dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Tidak dapat dinafikan penguasaan dan pemahaman Bahasa Malaysia kurang tetapi bagi saya bahasa Malaysia mudah dipelajari dan bersekolah di sekolah kebangsaan membantu mengukuhkan lagi penguasaan penggunaan Bahasa Malaysia.

Pernah pada suatu ketika, Nia menangis bila bertutur Bahasa Malaysia dengannya. Risau pun ada.

Salah satu cara untuk membiasakan dan melancarkan pertuturan bagi saya adalah membaca.

Setiap hari saya cuba membaca dengan Nia sekurang-kurangnya satu muka surat.

Mungkin naluri seorang ibu sentiasa risau dengan tahap pendidikan anak-anak. Maklumlah anak pertama baru mula bersekolah.

Setiap pagi ketika mengejutkan Nia dari tidur, saya akan mengetuk perlahan dengan hujung jari di pelipisnya (temple) dan mengatakan , "Katakan kepada mindamu, untuk mengampaikan kepada badanmu, Nia perlu bangun kerana hari ini adalah hari yang baik", "Katakan kepada mindamu, untuk menyampaikan kepada badanmu, yang Nia akan berasa sangat sihat dan kuat", "Katakan kepada mindamu, untuk mengampaikan kepada badanmu, yang Nia akan fokus" dll.

Menurut buku yang saya baca, menyampaikan nasihat semasa minda separa sedar lebih efektif. Seelok-eloknya sebelum tidur sewaktu sedang mamai.

Friday, March 06, 2015

Of my precious.....

I just realized that since 2013, I posted one entry a year. One in 2013 and one in 2014. Just to break the trend, I am posting this.

Look how quickly they have grown, except for Tia's hair. She has springy, curly hair but the growth rate is just like its not growing. The last time we cut her hair was never, except for balding her all together when she was 2 months old. Nia snipped her hair once for fun. One inch of her precious lock. I was not happy but because her hair is springy, no one ever noticed.

Tia is the 3 years 8 months old imaginative one. She can tell you where she's been, who she spoke to, which school she goes to, who her friends are, who the teacher is and what drama happened where without experiencing any of this. All in her mind. She tells it with so much expression. I like to encourage her by asking a lot questions and she will come up with more drama every time. Haha

On the other hand, Nia, the 6 years 5 months one with stubborn straight hair, is a very sensible, sensitive and determined girl. She has interest to learn new things all the time. When at home, she give me ideas of what experiments she want to do. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. This is where I feel I am lacking of. I wish I had more energy to do things with and for her.

She wants to learn piano and gymnastics. I have started giving her the basic piano lesson but she wants to go to a proper class. She told me this morning on the way to school. I plan to start sometime around this year. If that's what she feels like, my hope is what ever she decide to do, it may be something that she can appreciate in later life. Like everything else.....

A come back maybe.....

It's like leaving my loved one for some time, to be given some space and ponder on important things. Coming back to see it's patiently waiting and being glad to be back. Oh dear blog.

Last year I went on 5 business trips to Australia. It was mainly for work with some leisure trips here and there. Some were short 3 to 4 days trips and some were very long with 3 weeks maximum. Long enough for a mother of 2 to rebel and didn't care if she had to extend her stay for a few more days. It was extended once and another extension was a no-no. I was there for to finish off a project in Queensland and the scope was to design, fabricate and supply an Instrument Air and Nitrogen Generation package for the coal seam gas industry. The whole process was a very valuable experience for me, from tendering right up to the commissioning and signing off the package. In the end everything went really well at site.

For this project alone I had the opportunity to travel to Brisbane, Sydney, Adelaide, Gold Coast and other cities along the way. Places I never dreamed of going like Tara, Kogan, Dalby and Roma.

One trip to Adelaide, we had a night stay at Victor Harbour and was given a tour to Granite Island, Hahndorf, Port Elliot, Mount Lofty, Cleland Wildlife Park and Melba Chocolate Factory. To be honest I had to google to remind me of the places I went to. I was there for winter once or maybe twice. The start of and the peak of. God no! I am not meant for cold weather. It was just below 10 deg C and I almost couldn't function. Who could? Eskimos and no one else! Another trip was spring or autumn. Oh who knows! But it sure was not as cold as freezing winter.

I have been waiting to make a journal of the places I have been to. Not electronically like this blog but hard copy old fashion diary. I used to have diaries since I was small till university. There were times I pen down every single thing that I did, what I said, who said what, who called me, my lust, my love, my passion, my interest and I threw it all away just a few years ago. Writing this makes me regret it but at that time it was the right thing to do. I still have my last diary though, which was written after schooling years to university. I can't say I am proud of it. I am sure there is nothing in there that is worth keeping. I haven't looked at it for years. I'll go through it and rethink again. You know, just in case I sort of opened can of worms, in the eyes of my 2 princesses. It would be a disaster. God help me!

Back to my glorious Australia of the trips to Adelaide, I had the privilege to visit the Royal Adelaide Show 2014. Privilege because I was given the ticket and pocket money to spend. Hehe....It was a really nice experience. I was alone though. My boss said I could bring the whole family but at the time I thought it was really difficult. It was a last minute trip and the whole thing with work was too much for me to be in a holiday mood. So I had to thank him and said next time. Yes...I will come back and haunt you.

And there was a trip to Sydney. I had meetings in Brisbane and took 3 days 2 night off to see Sydney. Took a day tour to the Blue Mountain, Taronga Zoo and Sydney River cruise on Captain Cook. I love the fast pace, busy and entertaining mood. Again a city by the waters are just so syiok. Its the combination of land, water and sky that makes it perfect. Anywhere, whenever!

And there was Brisbane. Another perfect land, water and sky combination city. Lovely lovely lovely!

And Gold Coast, unfortunately all of them were just transits. In the back of my mind, I do not want to see and experience the city just yet. Not without the kids and other half.

And Tara, Kogan, Dalby and me they were interesting cowboy towns. Lowly populated and vast fields of crops and livestocks. Eye opening. Makes me want to buy big lands and tanam pokok and bela binatang. Not sure what yet and when.

In my next post, I hope, will post photos.....

Friday, May 23, 2014

Give L.O.V.E

A child is so honest and you can just trust every word they say.
They cry when sad.
They laugh when happy.
They are mad when angry. I mean really mad without knowing how to hide how mad they are.

When they love, they really love.
I love my little Tia. I mean I love her and I show her how much I love her.
In return, she shows me how much she love me.
They are that simple, no pretense.

She was down with a really nasty bug once.
We were about to go out of the car to have dinner at a restaurant.
I carried her with care and careful that I was gentle with her.
Holding her so she knows I am there to comfort.
I believe she must have felt the mother's love.

She looked up at me weakly and said,
"I sayang you, Ma"
It's a warm fuzzy feeling, you know.

Just a few weeks back, walking out to the living room at home with her Papa.
She casually told him,
"Pa, I love Mama."
The fuzzy feeling is so warm.

She must really love me. :)

And she must know that we love her.